Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
