he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
