Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
