I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You took a bar mat shot.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
