bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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