She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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