Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
