She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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