So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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