google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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