i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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