I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
