I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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