well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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