Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
