I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just google imaged poop.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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