She's JV to your varsity
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
