I accidentally burped into my bong.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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