Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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