I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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