I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
