I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
