Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
