im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
