the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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