We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I looked at my own cervix.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
