I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I could fuck to npr.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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