Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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