Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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