Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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