i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
