another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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