Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
