Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We had to coat check the pizza.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
