I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize