it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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