Your dad touched me again.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
