You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize