Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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