apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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