Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
