i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
