This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
