woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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