I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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