What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
