He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
and she was petting her beer can
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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