nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
