I think im going to throw up on grandma
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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