Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize