yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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