So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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