Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
They have beer where we have blood.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
