Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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