yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
