I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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