i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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