I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
