You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Your penis caused this!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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