Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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