I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
there is glitter all over my balls
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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