i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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