Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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