he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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