he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
