There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
