It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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