i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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