Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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